90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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