And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Pants are for mortals
How drunk are you?
Completed.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
