Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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