Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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