somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
