I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
