I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize