I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
