FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize