yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
