my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
