Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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