So drunk, too bad you don't want this
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
whose ass print is on the piano?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
