well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
