So drunk its hurt
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
