I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
