I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize