What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
