You made me cry and you don't even care
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize