I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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