Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
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