I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
