Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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