32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
so much tequila, so little girl.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
