you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
We got so high we made milksteak
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
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