I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
