So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
