You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
