I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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