He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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