he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
