just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
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