Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Someone signed my nipple.
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