Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
