Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
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