I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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