Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
