So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
you made out with another girl for some wings
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
