Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
