You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
