i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
