bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
