google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
