you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
