Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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