Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
that's an acceptable place to lick
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
