But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
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