I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
There r osticjed everywhere
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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