You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
