There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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