Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize
