Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
