I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
