I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
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