just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
