just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
