We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Randomize
