If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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