mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Randomize