You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
