And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
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