Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
