WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
