He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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